


Learn Me Right

by goldenkraken



Series: Droughtjoy2017 [4]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Droughtjoy 2017, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mentions of Genital Mutilation, Past Abuse, People Actually Being Nice to Theon (shocking!! wow!!), droughtjoy2017
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 09:49:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11895174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenkraken/pseuds/goldenkraken
Summary: A sequel to 'Shut Up Jon!', this follows on from what happened after Theon's PTSD episode on the beach. Each chapter explores some of his relationships & interactions with the other people at Dragonstone.Chapter One: Missandei tells Theon some things that he sorely needs to hear.Chapter Two: Davos finds that he and Theon have rather a lot in common. He takes Theon under his wing.Chapter Three: Jon learns some harsh truths. Will he and Theon get some closure?Chapter Four: Varys and Theon have a talk.Chapter Five: Daenerys discovers that a certain young kraken has taken an interest in her dragons. (inspired by a piece of fanart by keptrefler)Chapter Six: Tyrion figures out how to stop being such an ass.More tags will be added with each new chapter. Rating and category are subject to change.





	Learn Me Right

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct sequel to my previous fic 'Shut Up Jon!' so it picks up where that one left off. The Jon and Davos chapters will also be set following these events, though the other three will be a little later on. 
> 
> Missandei is nice to Theon, but some of the subject matters in this chapter are rather sensitive.

The walk to his chambers was quiet and awkward. Theon was still feeling embarrassed and vulnerable after what happened on the beach, but he was trying his best to seem nonchalant. Missandei was quiet and respectful as she walked alongside him, making no effort to force conversation upon him. He caught her glancing at him a few times but there was nothing he could say to her, which almost amused him a little. Before everything with Ramsay, he had prided himself on his abilities in the bedroom, and he had never shied away from talking to a beautiful woman. Missandei was utterly striking – in the past he would have jumped at the chance to speak to her. Things were different now though, and he had nothing suave or charming to say. It was probably for the best. Missandei seemed to be a very dignified woman, so Theon’s former treatment of women would probably have irked her. She hardly seemed like the type who would have enjoyed his particular brand of flirting.

When they reached the doorway to Theon’s chambers, Missandei smiled politely at him, but it was clear she felt awkward. Theon didn’t smile back at her.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, sounding tired, “You didn’t need to step in like that, but you did it anyway.” He hesitated for a moment, feeling the familiar burn of self-loathing in his gut. “Sorry if I unsettled you.” His eyes remained downcast as he spoke. So much for keeping his head held high.

“Ah, you did not unsettle me. I have seen people experience similar things in Essos; usually slaves that have been reminded of something particularly foul,” she replied gently, “I simply wanted to help.”

 _Usually slaves._ The thought caused an unpleasant feeling to coil within him. _Was I a slave?_

He didn’t think he would ever be sure of what he had been to Ramsay. Pet? Prisoner? Many had simply referred to him as ‘Ramsay’s creature’ and he supposed that was true. Ramsay had most certainly owned every inch of him, which certainly fit the description of enslavement, but it was difficult to put a label on whatever he had been. Ramsay had been his lord, his master, his god – Theon even still thought of him as such when he was having a particularly bad day. He sometimes wondered if Ramsay ever missed him. It made sense for him to, as while Theon was uncertain of many things regarding Ramsay, he knew that Ramsay _loved_ his Reek.

“Oh. Well thank you,” Theon said awkwardly, allowing himself to look at Missandei again. She offered another one of those polite smiles in response.

“Rest well, Lord Greyjoy,” she said and then began to leave as Theon unlocked the door to his chambers.

However, before Theon even entered the room, Missandei suddenly stopped walking and turned to face him again.

“Um,” she began, causing Theon to pause and look at her as he held open the door, “I know that it… probably isn’t my place to say this.” She hesitated, fiddling with her fingers as she considered her words carefully. “I heard what was said about you on the beach. About… what that man did to you against your will.”

Theon had been dissociating so hard that he could hardly remember much from the beach, but Missandei’s comment sent a chill through his body. Ramsay had done many things to him, and none of them had been consensual. Reek had resigned himself to being a plaything and a bed warmer, but he couldn’t say that he had ever enjoyed their couplings. Nor had Ramsay wanted him to, of course; that wouldn’t have been any fun. How had anyone on the beach known about that, though? He wasn’t even sure whether Sansa had been aware of just how intimate his and Ramsay’s relationship had truly been.

“What are you referring to?” Theon asked quietly, his voice stiff with fear and dread.

Panic flashed through Missandei’s eyes – she didn’t want to cause a repeat of what had happened on the beach. Swiftly, she strode closer to him and met his gaze with her own.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t speak about these things while they are clearly still hurting you. I didn’t mean to cause you any pain.”

“Its fine,” Theon replied after a moment. It wasn’t fine, but Missandei had not intended to hurt him, and it wasn’t her fault that he was still so deeply troubled by things that had already happened. “What were you going to say?”

Missandei remained silent and studied his expression for a moment or two. She was extremely adept at remaining calm and composed at all times, but her eyes were very soulful and they showed her emotions openly – almost like Jon’s, in a way. They were the same colour as his too; a deep, rich brown that glinted like shards of copper when they reflected the sunlight, though often they would look dark enough to swallow someone whole.

 “I apologise if I am crossing a line by talking about this, and please let me know if I am, but…” Another pause, though it was only brief. “One of the men on the beach mentioned that you had been… changed. Down there.”

_Oh fuck._

Theon had grown used to people openly mocking and degrading him for his new status as a eunuch. Despite the constant tormenting, it still made him feel incredibly uncomfortable and humiliated whenever anyone chose to make remarks about it, though sometimes it only made him angry. Theon had overcome a lot in his life, and every day he was healing from what had been done to him at Ramsay’s hands, though this in particular was something that he would never truly accept or recover from. How could he? He wanted to tell Missandei that she was making him uncomfortable – that he absolutely could not talk about this with anybody – but she was being so soft and gentle that he simply allowed her to continue. He was too exhausted, both physically and mentally, to say or do anything else.

“I just….” Yet another pause. “I just hope that you know that no matter what was done to you, you are still important and worthy of respect. Eunuch is an ugly word and it does not have to define you – only your actions can do that. I know some people may say some awful things to you about this, but please do not listen. They are angry, bitter men who have no idea what they are talking about.” Missandei grew gradually more and more confident the longer that she spoke, and she appeared to be relieved when she finally got the words out. Theon didn’t know what to say or think – he merely stared at her almost slack-jawed. Missandei took it as a sign to continue. “The Unsullied are the most formidable warriors that I have ever seen, and Lord Varys is an incredibly powerful man. You are the same as them, and yet no one would talk to them in the way that your men addressed you today. It isn’t fair and it isn’t right. I suppose I just wanted you to know that.”

Silence passed between them, and Theon was at a loss as to what he could possibly say. He could barely even process what Missandei had said, let alone formulate a coherent response to it. No one had ever addressed the subject of his genital mutilation before – not truly. People only ever referenced it when they wanted to hurt or degrade him, but there had not been a single occasion in which someone had said anything remotely even close to this before. Not even Yara had.

“I’m sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?” Missandei asked sheepishly when Theon still hadn’t replied. He looked pale and almost a little sick.

“No,” he said after a moment’s pause, sounding uncertain even to himself. “I’ve just never heard anyone say something like that before.”

Theon had always had extreme problems with his identity, and the castration had caused it all to become ten times worse. For quite a while he had even struggled with his entire gender after that incident – in fact, he was only recently beginning to consider himself a man again, though it was difficult when everyone constantly chose to attack him about how unmanly they thought him to be. He had never once considered the Unsullied, nor had he really given any thought to Varys. To some degree, he supposed he had rather needed to hear Missandei’s words, even if it would take a while for them to properly sink in.

Missandei was looking at him with something akin to sympathy. It was better than being outright pitied, but it still made him frown. He hated being seen like this, though it was also somewhat jarring and surreal to be on the receiving end of some genuine kindness and thoughtfulness. Normally, people treated him as if he was either a joke or an outright monster – and in some cases, they acted as if he was a mixture of the two. Tyrion especially spoke to him as such, and it was incredibly grating.

“I see. Well. If you would ever wish to discuss these matters, might I recommend speaking to Lord Varys or one of The Unsullied? I am sure that Grey Worm would be more than willing to talk with you when he returns from Casterly Rock.”

Theon’s insides twisted with discomfort and embarrassment – he couldn’t imagine anything worse than having to stare Varys in the face and talk about his lack of a penis. Speaking to one of the Unsullied seemed equally unappealing. While Theon would never say it aloud (though of course he would if he were still the same person that he used to be), he found that the Unsullied seemed utterly dull and uninteresting. He had only met Grey Worm briefly but it seemed as though the man had about as much personality as a teaspoon, and the rest of his men all appeared to be carbon copies of his boring, stoic self. Talking to any of them about anything at all sounded as though it would be equal parts drab and intimidating. Theon could never voice these thoughts, of course, though that was probably for the best. Missandei was only trying to be nice, and he did appreciate the gesture.

“I don’t think I’ll be doing that, but thank you,” he replied.

Missandei offered him another one of her polite smiles, though this time her eyes smiled too. “Very well, but please understand that there are many people who would be happy to help you with anything that you might need.”

That seemed remarkably unlikely and far too optimistic, but the words were warm; Theon found that he was smiling despite himself. Missandei was kind. It caused a feeling of warmth to stir within his chest – it had been a very long time since anyone had treated him with softness or understanding. Maybe if he was lucky, he’d even be able to make a friend of her. Theon hadn’t had a real friend since the Siege of Winterfell. There was Yara, of course, but she was his sister and therefore she was compelled to love him, though her treatment of him wasn’t always particularly pleasant. He supposed Sansa could be classed as a friend. Not that he was ever likely to see her again, of course. Would he even see _Missandei_ again after he left Dragonstone? He had grown used to being alone but it would’ve been nice to have a friend in the world.

“Thank you,” he said again, unsure of what else he could possibly say. “You’re very kind.”

Missandei dipped her head, her lips remaining curved in a pleasant smile. “You are most welcome, Lord Greyjoy. I must return to my duties now, but please think about what I said.”

Theon mirrored her, dipping his head in response as she excused herself. He watched her for a moment as she walked down the hallway, before he turned and finally entered his bedchamber with a slight smile playing upon his lips. Missandei had lightened his mood considerably and she had indeed given him a lot to think about.

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I actually love Grey Worm omg, I just don't think that Theon would.
> 
> Anyway! I... kind of really love Missandei? Sorry if the line about Theon being uncertain of his gender bothered anybody. In the episode where he took Moat Cailin, he says 'I don't know' and becomes visibly distressed when he is asked whether he is a man or not, so I was simply trying to keep him in character. Theon's way of thinking is obviously not reflective of my own!
> 
> Some of the future chapters may be longer, others may be shorter. Some may be lighter than others, and some may be pretty heavy. As I said in the summary, I'll be updating the tags as I go along, and the rating & category are subject to change! It'll probably remain mature/explicit though, depending on where I do with the Jon chapter.
> 
> My tumblr is greyjoysails. Don't hesitate to message me if you'd ever like to offer prompts or anything (though I can't be certain that I'll fulfill every request), and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I love reading any feedback that you guys have to offer.


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